Da li je moguće biti 100% direktan ili ponekad valja koristiti i bele laži? //// Is it possible to be 100% direct, or should you sometimes use white lies?

*Scroll down for English version

O ovome sam često razmišljala, i više puta se pitala da li je moguće stalno koristiti jednu ili drugu varijantu? Znate one ljude koji stalno govore: "ja sve kažem u lice.. ja sam 100% iskren"? I onda se zapitam: pa da li je to moguće?

Za sebe verujem da sam osoba koja voli da kaže šta misli. Naravno, trudim se da to bude uvremenjeno i na pravi način. I ponekad mi to i uspeva... Ali, da li je moguće postići baš sve da kažeš drugoj osobi? Naročito ako si inače sklon analizama sa samim sobom i drugim ljudima. Dođu novi događaji koje bi voleo sa nekim uživo prokomentarisati, pa onda ni ne stigneš da napomeneš ono nešto od ranije. Pa, jesi li onda 100% direktan, kada će se sa svakom osobom naći barem nešto što nisi stigao "u lice" da joj kažeš, a možda jesi sa nekim drugim o tome komentarisao?

A onda kada kažu ono "ja sam uvek iskren. Ja nikada ne lažem!" Yeah, right.


Tu dolazimo do priče o belim lažima... Kažu da su nekad neophodne u situacijama dobre namere, da su bezopasne, a ponekad i rezultat dobre taktike. A šta se dešava kada se one često koriste? Od drage osobe, u situaciji ponavljanih ružnih dešavanja na koja oboje nismo mogli uticati, u više navrata sam dobila te bele laži. Sigurna sam da je namera bila čista i da joj je cilj možda bio zaštićivanje mene, ali posle saznanja o nekoliko belih laži zaredom, ja uopšte nisam imala osećaj zaštićenosti. Više je to bio osećaj blage izneverenosti, isto kao kada sam bila žrtva "pravih" laži. 


I na kraju ovog teksta nema šta drugo da se zaključi, no da je čovek jedno zaista komplikovano biće :) I da valja biti umeren i o sebi nikada govoriti u terminima "100%", jer nema promenljivijeg bića do čoveka. Nema ćudljivijeg bića, do čoveka!

English version

I`ve been thinking about this very often, and many times wondered whether it`s possible to use only first or second alternative? You know those people who often say "I tell everything to face to other person... I`m 100% honest"? And then I wonder: well, is that possible?

I believe that I`m a person who likes to be direct. Of course, I`m trying to do that in a perfect time and manner. And sometimes I succeed in that.. However, is it possible to say exactly everything that`s on your mind to other person? Especially if you tend to analyze things with yourself and with other people. And then new experiences come which you would like to comment to that other person, and you don`t manage to mention the previous one you wanted. And then, are you 100% direct, when you didn`t manage to tell everything to the person in question, but somehow you have with others?

And then when people say "I`m always honest. I never lie." yeah, right...

Here we come to the story of white lies.. They say that sometimes white lies are necessary in situations of good intentions, that they`re harmless, and sometimes a result of a good tactic. And what`s happening when they`re often used? Recently, in a series of some ugly happenings to which nobody from us could influenced, I got a few white lies from one dear person of mine. I`m sure that intention was clear and that a goal was to protect me, but after a knowing that I got a few white lies in a row, I wasn`t feeling protected at all. It was more a feeling that I was let down, the same as if I was a victim of real lies.

And at the end of this text there`s nothing left to be concluded, than that the man is one really complicated being :) And that it`s advisable to be moderate and not to talk about oneself in terms of 100%, because there`s no more changeable being than human. There`s no more whimsical being than human!

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