Kao psiholog i građanin zemlje koju je trenutno zahvatila velika prirodna katastrofa i haos, osećam potrebu da napišem nekoliko redova o ljudima, njihovom ponašanju i mogućnostima lične promene u ovakvim situacijama. U redovima koji slede izneću svoje mišljenje, a ne neku apsolutnu istinu, te verujem da se nećete svi složiti sa onim što imam da kažem.
Na društvenim mrežama sam primetila puno proaktivnosti, humanosti i želje za učešćem u akcijama pomoći. Sa druge strane, ima tu povremeno i bespotrebne mržnje, kritike i gubljenja vremena na stvari koje nikome ne pomažu. I to je za očekivati. Ljudi različito gledaju na iste stvari i događaje oko sebe. Različito na društvenu odgovornost pojedinca.
A šta je uopšte društvena odgovornost pojedinca? Ona svakako podrazumeva odgovorno ponašanje pojedinca, prema sebi, bliskim ljudima, grupama, svom narodu, društvu uopšte. Da nema odgovornosti, čovek bi bio puko biološko biće, vođeno isključivo životinjskim potrebama. Kada razvije društvenu odgovornost, čovek postaje jedno moralno biće, vođeno savešću. Drugim rečima, vođeno razmišljanjima tipa "činim ovo jer je to moralno ispravno", "činim ovo vodeći pritom računa da drugog ne povredim", "činim ovo jer je to moja građanska dužnost". Ja uz savest nekako uvek vidim i proaktivnost, toleranciju, prihvatanje različitosti, ali i strpljenje. A njega u kriznim situacijama nekako najmanje imamo. U nedostatku istog često počinjemo da gubimo i toleranciju, i manje da prihvatamo različitosti. Različita mišljenja, različita viđenja pomoći ljudima u potrebi.
Postoje ljudi koji imaju potrebu da pričaju o tome kako i koliko su pomogli u ovakvoj kriznoj situaciji. Da, neki od njih se možda hvale. Ali, ima i njih koji time žele da motivišu druge, da daju predlog na koji se još način može pomoći. Jer načina je bezbroj. Sa druge strane, postoje oni koji vole za sebe da sačuvaju istinu o tome kako su sve pomogli. Oni koji "ćute i rade". Niti su prvi isključivo hvalisavci, niti su drugi uvek skromni i pošteni. I nije na nama da cenimo šta je bolje od ta dva. Važan je efekat, a on je isti u oba slučaja - pružena je pomoć. Diskusijom o tim stvarima samo bespotrebno trošimo minute koje možemo mnogo dragocenije iskoristiti.
A kada je u pitanju društvena odgovornost, ne mogu a da se ne dotaknem čuvenih izgovora "pomogao bih ja, ali...". Ne moraš možda imati ni 100 dinara da odvojiš za SMS na 1003, ali sigurno imaš kući barem jednu staru majicu koju možeš odneti za ugrožene. I ne treba da te bude sramota zato što je to samo jedna majica. Kada bi svako od nas odneo po taj jedan odevni predmet, kamioni ne bi bili dovoljni da se napune. I pomoć ne mora biti samo materijalne prirode. Postoji puno načina da se pomogne - fizički, organizacijski, pokretanjem inicijativa. Možeš doprineti čak i ako si žena koja je trudna, koja gaji malu decu. Možeš odvojiti vreme da na društvenim mrežama sharuješ bitne informacije. Da podeliš neko svoje znanje sa drugima. Sigurno će biti potrebe za vođenjem evidencija, za sređivanjem podataka. To se može i od kuće raditi.
I na kraju, još jedna stvar koja me je na društvenim mrežama pokrenula na razmišljanje - kritikovanje ljudi koji i dalje u toku dana pokušavaju da uživaju u sitnicama. Ja u potpunosti podržavam otkazivanje velikih manifestacija jer organizatori žele na drugi način da se posvete pomoći ugroženima. Ali, isto tako razumem da će se neke manifestacije održati, jer će se tako prikupiti novac da se pomogne onima kojima je to potrebno. Pa ako to održavanje koncerta ili žurke podrazumeva da se neko lepo provodio nekoliko sati nakon što je dao novac koji će ići ugroženima, u tome nema ničeg ružnog! Društvena odgovornost pojedinca u ovakvim kriznim situacijama ne podrazumeva nužno da mi svih 24h moramo isključivo pomoći u krizi da posvetimo. To je nemoguće i nerealno tražiti od apsolutno svih ljudi. Dosta nas koji imamo luksuz da nismo u ugroženim područjima moramo nastaviti da svaki dan brinemo o svojoj deci, da odlazimo na posao, da brinemo o sopstvenim zdravstvenim i drugim problemima. I u redu je ako svaki dan odvojimo koji trenutak da uživamo u knjizi, filmu, piću sa dragom osobom. U sitnicama. Jer tako ćemo se još više osnažiti da pomognemo i da budemo društveno još odgovorniji. I zbog toga ne treba da nas grize savest, to ne treba kritikovati.
Ono što pritom ne treba da zaboravimo je da se svaki dan zapitamo i "kako danas mogu pomoći ugroženima?". Neka to danas bude samo informisanje o novostima, ili sharovanje bitnih informacija, slanje još jednog SMSa. U svakom slučaju, to će u punom smislu reči biti naše društveno odgovorno ponašanje.
English version
As a psychologist and a citizen of the country that is in great nature disaster and chaos these days, I feel responsibility to write a few lines abou people, their behaviour and possibilities of personal change in these situations. In the following lines I`ll give you my opinion, not an absolute truth, therefore I believe that not all of you will agree with the things I have to say.
On social networks I noticed lots of proactivity, humanity and will to take part in helping people. On the other side, there are also some occasional hatem critics and wasting of time on things that are not helping anybody. And it`s nothing unusual. Different people see differently the same things and happenings around them. They see differently civic responsibility of an individual.
And what is civic responsibility exactly? It definitely means responsible behaviour of an individual towards himself, his closest people, groups, nation, society in general. If there was no responsibility, human would be one pure biological being, led only by its animal needs. However, when human develops civic responsibility , it becomes one moral entity, led by conscience. In other words, led by thinking like "I`m doing this because it`s morally right", "I`m doing this by paying attention to not hurting others", "I`m doing this because it`s my civic duty". With consicence for me there always goes proactivity too, as well as tolerance, accepting of diversities, and patience. The latter we have the least in crisis situation. In lack of it we often start losing tolerance, and we accept diversities less. Different opinions, different version of how to help people.
There are people who have a need to talk about how and how much they helped in this situation of crisis. Yes, some of them are bragging with it. But, there are others who talk about that in order to motivate others, to give suggestions of what other ways people can help. Because, there are numerous ways of helping people. On the other side, there are some people who like to keep the truth about how they have helped to themselves. The like to "keep quiet and be active". The first ones are not always braggers, and the second ones are not always modest and righteous. And it`s not on us to evaluate what is better of those two. The effect is important, and it`s the same in both ways - the help is given. By discussing about those things we just waste some precious minutes which we could use more constructively.
And when we talk about civic responsibility, I must mention those famous excuses "I would help, but...". You don`t have to have 100 dinars for SMS to 1003, but you will surely find at least tone t-shirt that you could bring to endangered people. And you shouldn`t be ashamed that it`s only one t-shirt. If everybody brought only one t-shirt, there wouldn`t be enough trucks to be loaded. And help doesn`t neccesarily have to be of material nature. There are lots of ways to help people in need - physically, organisationally, by starting of the initiatives. You could contribute even if you are a pregnant woman, or woman with little children. You can find time to share important information on social networks. You could shre your knowledge with others. There would sure be need for data recordings, for example. You could do that from home.
And finally, another thing that made me think - critisiying of people that are still trying to enjoy in small things in life. In spite of the crisis around them. I totally support canceling of big manifestations because the organizers want to help people in different ways. On the other side, I also understand that some events will be held, because that will be the way to collect money for the people who are in need. And if that concert or a party mean that somebody will have a nice time after giving money for the people, so what! There is nothing bad in that. Civic responsibility in crisis situations doesn`t necessarily mean that we all have to devote ourselves all 24h to people in need. It`s impossible, and you can`t ask that from absolutely everyone. Lots of us who have a luxury not to be in endangered places have to continue to take care of our children, to go to work, to care about our own health and other needs. And it`s ok if you take a few moments each day to enjoy a book, movies, drink with dear people. To enjoy in little things. Because that way we`ll be even stronger to help and to be more civic responsible. And we shouldn`t feel uncomfortable about that, that shouldn`t be criticised.
The thing we shouldn`t forget is to ask ourselves every day "how can I help people in need today?". Let be only informing yourself with fresh news about the situation, or sharing the information, sending another SMS. Anyway, it will be your civic responsible behaviour, in its full meaning.